Kritique Kritics

Managing one website is fun; managing six is work even if they all are WordPress sites.  I’m not doing it for a living, but sometimes it feels like a job–a twelve hour job.

I love the artistic part of the job or even the blogging.  I also enjoy behind the scenes dealing with widgets, add-ons, etc. until it gets over whelming in volume or complication.  I don’t like repetitive crap and I don’t like to spend hours and hours studying something and still not know how to fix the problem.

I just finished adding a plug-in called “Link-Checker” to the SLO NightWriters’ website and then it told me that there were  seventeen bad links.  How long have they been not working?  I’ve fixed thirteen so far and decided to take a break.

Gotta go and upgrade all the sites now.

Tags: Computers, Overwhelmed by debradavishinkle
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I never thought I’d be looking for another horse.  When you’ve had the best, how do you think about something less than the best.  The truth is I don’t want another horse–I want Finn.  I can’t have Finn, anymore.  Our majestic horse, Finn McCool, was euthanized a week ago.

Finn was a chestnut colored, fourteen hundred, fifty pound, seventeen hand, Irish warm blood. He was seventeen years old and extremely well trained in jumping and dressage. He was once a lesson horse and my husband, Roland, took him trail riding.  He was a dream horse for two people, in their fifties, learning to ride.

His previous owner, Carrie McPherson Kimmel, sold him to us after we leased him for a year.  Finn wasn’t quite good enough in dressage to take Carrie to the Olympics, so he became ours three years ago.

He loved the beach and didn’t want to go back to the trailer when you tried to turn him around on the sand. He was purrfect, except he couldn’t purr.  I gave him scraps from the juicer; it was a funny site seeing a huge horse lick my hands.  We both loved it, though. 

Finn had many friends, some with two legs and some with four legs.  He was an unusual horse, both in stature and demeanor.  He was admired by all.  HEAVEN CAN WAIT, a rescue organization dedicated their newsletter to Finn McCool and I’ve included the dedication below:  (Thank you Ramey Zamora.)

HEAVEN CAN WAIT NEWSLETTER – July 2010

This edition of the HCW Newsletter is dedicated to the memory of Finn McCool, a big hearted big horse owned by a good friend and supporter of Heaven Can Wait.  Finn suffered a torn diaphragm diagnosed through surgery on June 25^th — the damage was too much to save this great 18 year old.  Our hearts are with his owner, and that’s where Finn’s heart is, too.  Thanks for years of beloved companionship.

Finn McCool, by Roland Hinkle

Your kindness continues to inspire us.

You can visit their site at:  http://www.heaven-can-wait.net/site/

Roland wrote a explaination of how Finn died for the people at our barn and I’ve included it below:

Sadly, we lost Finn Friday night June 25.  After looking distressed that morning, Dr. Osborne saw him at the barn.  When he hadn’t improved in the afternoon, we took him to Alamo Pintado.  Additional tests at Alamo indicated exploratory surgery.

Dr. Judy discovered a tear in Finn’s diaphragm that let his liver and intestines migrate into the chest cavity (a diaphragmatic hernia).   All of his colon and much of his intestine had died from the  compromised blood supply.

The damage was too great to save him and he was euthanized on the operating table. 

Dr. Judy commented that the tear was the largest he had seen and most horses wouldn’t have been standing with the damage he saw.  Finn had walked into the clinic and later to the surgery prep room on his own.

He was Finn to the end!  

Here’s a photo of Roland and Finn jumping.  Finn had jumped many times before and much higher, but it was Roland’s first jump.

The two most special memories I have of him are when he trusted me enough to roll and when I trusted him enough to lean forward and let him take a jump with me on his back.  Although, I’m leaving Finn’s trust behind I’m taking my trust and the love of a great horse with me.   

Tags: Animals, Feeling, Grief by debradavishinkle
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I’ve been busy over the last three months and especially overwhelmed the last month.  I’ve been working on a website and a new Facebook for SLO NightWriters.

I didn’t create either site.  I made changes/additions to the website that Aaron Kondziela built and I’ve just started adding photos to the Facebook site that Natalie Borgardt created.  I also linked the sites.

I’ve learn a lot, but I am not in Aaron’s or Natalie’s league.

Tags: Feeling, Overwhelmed, SLO NightWriters by debradavishinkle
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Too many men, too little time.  Well, actually it’s too many websites, too little time. I watching six sites now and I beginning to think it’s five too many.

Here’s the site that has been keeping me very busy for the last two – three months: http://www.slonightwriters.org

Another problem is my computer.  The network card’s signal strength is low most of the time and the computer is running very slowly.  I’ve manually done the maintenance and increased the frequency that the machine will automatically do maintenance.  I’ve also removed several programs.  Jim Leonard suggested some of the things I did, but I’m fresh out of ideas now and I think Jim is too.

I forgot, I had a virus last week and Roland removed it for me, too.

Tags: Feeling, Overwhelmed, Websites by debradavishinkle
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Buff Boy was cream colored with pale orange strips.  He looked just like his mother, Buff Momma, except he was fourteen pounds and she was only nine pounds.

I found him in June 2006 when he was three months old.  I had him neutered and given all the usual shots.  He was also treated for worms and I gave him flea and tick medication monthly.  I did everything I could medically for him.

I loved him–taming him slowly–with food.  Later, playing with him with one of the fifty cat toys on our deck.  My husband, Roland, built a cat shelter and placed it next to our bedroom door.  I would go out several times a night to check on Buff Boy and the others.  During the day, I would use a peacock feather to play with him on the grass.

BUT, it wasn’t enough!

You were taken from me a year ago tonight.

Buff Boy had the most beautiful yellow/copper colored eyes.

Buff Boy’s father (Big Boy) and mother (Buff Momma).

A POEM FOR BUFF BOY

Why can’t I let go?
Would I not move through the grief,
If I stopped the denial?

You are dead!
You are dead!
You are dead!

I am heartbroken.
Hope would not let me cry, before.

Tears finally found me-
True grief begins as denial ends

Debra Davis Hinkle
February – March 2009
Last four stanzas only; full poem in “The Broken Chain”, due out in 2011.

Tags: Animals, Feeling, Grief by debradavishinkle
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The sound of rain wasn’t pleasant, as a child.  At school, it meant we had to square dance with the boys—I was far too shy to enjoy this activity.  At home, it was even worse.  It meant that I would be cold and sometimes wet.  I would usually get an earache and cry in pain.  My mom would warm a hot water bottle, but what I needed was an antibiotic.

We had a house that ran East/West so one half of the house was South facing.  That part of the roof leaked.  When it started to rain in the middle of the night, cold and wet drops of water would wake me.  Then I would gather the pots and pans from the kitchen and place them under the dripping spots.  I had to be very quiet in my sisters’ room so I didn’t wake them.  The other two rooms on the South side were the living room, and mine so I didn’t have to be quiet in those rooms.  It only took a few storms to memorize the sizes of the leaks.  I soon knew where to place the small versus the large pots and which leak needed a bucket.  I could fall back asleep and not worry for a little while if I placed the containers correctly.  Besides just emptying the containers, the next time I woke up I would have a mess to mop up if I didn’t estimate the leaks correctly.

For the first few years after I married my husband, Roland, I would walk around the house looking for leaks during rainstorms.  It was ridiculous, but I couldn’t stop myself.

One day Roland said, “Honey, you don’t have to look for leaks.  We have a new roof and if it leaked, we have the money to get it fixed.”  That realization took a while to set in, but once it did, I felt Roland was powerful.  He could take care of me.  I married the right man.  I would never be cold or have earache pain again from the rain.

What I didn’t realize, at the time, was that Roland was encouraging me to take back my power.  I had the money to fix the roof.  I’m powerful.  I was powerful, even as a child.  I was trying to rectify a bad situation.

I might love my husband, but I don’t need him to take care of me.  It took a long time before I understood and felt that I could take care of myself, rain or shine.  I had the power.

Thanks to Roland for setting me on the path to self-actualization.  Much of whom I am, I owe to him and that conversation.

This week when San Luis Obispo and much of California was hit hard by rain storms, I enjoyed the rain–including the hail storm that you can see on our back deck.  The only worry I had was for the burn areas in California.

Thanks to the Friday Night Writers  Group for their critique of this blog.  Special thanks to my Kritique Kritics partners, Carter Pittman, Christine Taylor and Laurie Woodward who support and inspire my writing.

Tags: Feeling, Powerful by debradavishinkle
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This is what I wrote last year on January 7th:

I feel overwhelmed all the time!  But, especially this time of the year (Jan-Apr).  Right now on my plate I have the following:

Prune twelve fruit trees (50 – 70 hrs)

Pick up all leaves in yard so leaves won’t transfer peach leave curl to new growth

Move two remaining fruit trees

Spray weed killer on hillside

Replant front bed (40 – 60 hrs)

Plant Vegetable garden

Weed & edge backyard

Fertilize backyard & front yard

Treat for ants and snails in backyard & front yard

Reseed front & backyard

In spare time, pull all income tax records together

What really makes me mad about this list is that I made it and I prioritize it!  I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY!

No wonder I felt overwhelmed.  This is too much for a female in her fifties and too much for anyone.  Well this year I got SMART.  I hired someone to do all the garden work and he completed it in less than three days. And, I won’t need several chiropractic visits for my aching back.

Tags: Feeling, Overwhelmed by debradavishinkle
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The painting is going well.  My office is completely painted and the hall has been started.  The stairs and the doors are scheduled for tomorrow.  My husband, Roland, will probably have his office torn up on Friday–just in time for the weekend.

I’m going to shampoo the carpet before I put anything back so I don’t know when I will have my office again.  But, it’s working out well with the computer on the dinning room table.

I’m not finding it as difficult to live with things in boxes this time.  I think it was very difficult to have the master bedroom and bathroom torn up at the same time.  I bet I won’t feel so “easy going” when the kitchen is in disarray.  I am feeling lucky to be able to afford a painter.

Tags: Feeling, Home improvement by debradavishinkle
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Growing up I was always a Tomboy and I wouldn’t consider myself a feminine female now. I had a pet snake when I was a child and I liked to watch tarantulas walk around, in the Fall, in hills behind our house. I like shooting guns, metal detecting and getting dirty in my garden.

I always thought females were silly to scream or yell “Get it off me” when a spider was on them. I’ve helped other females get a spider off them.

I usually don’t kill spiders or small animals in the house.  I help them get back outside.  I even put up with my husband calling a Daddy Long Legs spider “Legs” and refusing to disturb her web in the master bathroom shower.  She lived there for months.  This runs in the family–my brother-in-law had a pet spider in a lamp shade that he and his wife refused to disturb.

I draw the line at Black Widows, though.  I kill them.  I even chemically treat the house and garage as a prevention.

My husband, Roland and I have been watching a type of brown spider that makes huge webs in the Fall.  We have seen them in Manhattan Beach and now in San Luis Obispo. We started calling them “Herman” and over the years the name stuck.

Well today on my way out into the garden I saw a Herman and told myself to be careful not to disturb the web on my way back into the house.  Guess who forgot all about Herman?  I went back into the garage and was talking to Roland when I saw the SPIDER out of the corner of my eye.  What did I do?  Yelled like a silly girl, “Get him off me!  Get him off me!”  Roland did and he moved Herman outside, again.

This is embarrassing to admit–I’m a girl through and through!

Tags: Animals, Fears by debradavishinkle
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You can’t win unless you enter.  I entered my work in two contests and submitted my work to one place this year.

Turns out, I won in both contests and the only place I sent I work to published it.

What is the worst someone can say?

“No!”

“No thank-you.”

“Not at this time.”

“I like it, but …”

I don’t want those words to stop me!

What’s the best someone can say?

“YES!

“You won!”

“We want to publish it.”

Of course, everyone likes these words better.  Who wouldn’t?

Speaking of those words–last night I received a second place award in the San Luis Obispo Nightwriters, 20th Annual, 500-Word Short Story Contest.  It was the first time I entered their contest and I won for a longer version of my “It’s Not A Dream.”

Tags: Fears, SLO NightWriters by debradavishinkle
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